my eyes are tired, but i want more

I grew up reading a lot. Seriously, it was my favorite thing to do. My parent's house is filled with books, and they always encouraged my sister and I to read more. I remember going to the library and checking out the maximum number of children's books allowed (at the time it was 15) and then going back the next week to exchange them for more. Christmas presents always consisted of maybe 3 toys and 8 books. So now I love to read. As a byproduct, I'm not good at sports and I never learned how to ride a bike though.

After I left my parent's house for college, my appetite for reading declined drastically. Partially because I never bothered to find out where the library was in Pittsburgh, and I had run out of books that I was interested in reading. As a kid, I would just walk around and browse the shelves, looking for books that I hadn't read yet. As an adult, there are just too many books to do that with, and many of them are just boring or trash.

Lately, I've been feeling the need to read. In the past few weeks, I've been reading during my commute and sometimes at night, and I've finished a few books. Because I am too lazy to summarize these books, I've included excerpts of the editorial reviews from Amazon.com.

A Severe Mercy

"A Severe Mercy, by Sheldon Vanauken, is a heart-rending love story described by its author as "the spiritual autobiography of a love rather than of the lovers." Vanauken chronicles the birth of a powerful pagan love borne out of the relationship he shares with his wife, Davy, and describes the growth of their relationship and the dreams that they share. As a symbol of their love, they name their dream schooner the Grey Goose, "for the grey goose, if its mate is killed flies on alone and never takes another."

While studying at Oxford, Sheldon and Davy develop a friendship with C.S. Lewis, under whose influence and with much intellectual scrutiny they accept the Christian doctrine. As their devotion to God intensifies, Sheldon realizes that he is no longer Davy's primary love--God is. Within this discovery begins a brewing jealousy."

I loved this book. It was wholesome, honest, and beautiful. I discovered it on a friend's blog where she had it listed as her favorite book.

In An Instant

"In January 2006, the Woodruffs seemed to have it all–a happy marriage and four beautiful children. Lee was a public relations executive and Bob had just been named co-anchor of ABC’s World News Tonight. Then, while Bob was embedded with the military in Iraq, an improvised explosive device went off near the tank he was riding in. He and his cameraman, Doug Vogt, were hit, and Bob suffered a traumatic brain injury that nearly killed him.

In an Instant is the frank and compelling account of how Bob and Lee’s lives came together, were blown apart, and then were miraculously put together again–and how they persevered, with grit but also with humor, through intense trauma and fear. Here are Lee’s heartfelt memories of their courtship, their travels as Bob left a law practice behind and pursued his news career and Lee her freelance business, the glorious births of her children and the challenges of motherhood."

Isaac brought this book home from Google. I wasn't particular interested in it, but once I started reading it, I had a hard time putting it down. Somehow it just captivated me and I ended up reading the bulk of it in one night. I like reading about people and how they handle difficult situations and what motivates and drives them.

The Mole People

"Alligators breeding in the sewers of New York City is an urban legend; thousands of people living in the tunnels beneath New York is not. Ms. Toth has written a compelling, compassionate and extraordinary documentary about the 'Mole People.'"

I bought this one to read while I was getting a perm, but when I got to the salon, I got distracted by the magazines and I ended up reading this one during my commute. It felt a little awkward to pull this out of my bag on the subway, not knowing if any of the people around me might be tunnel dwellers themselves and take offense to my choice of literature. I was really excited about this book, but I found out after I finished that some people believe that some of it is fabricated because her descriptions of tunnel layouts are not completely accurate. Even so, the book is a quick read and very interesting.

Next up: I'm thinking about reading R.C. Sproul's "The Holiness of God" or the new biography of Einstein by Walter Isaacson. Oddly enough, I usually enjoy fantasy/science fiction or fluffy chick lit novels, but they usually go so quickly and tend to be somewhat formulaic. I guess I've been a little hungry for something more substantial than the latest Shopaholic novel. Any suggestions?

she wasn't that innocent

We just started a new sermon series at church this week. For as long as we've been attending, the pastor has been preaching on Mark, but he finished up on Easter and just started in on Esther this past Sunday.

This was the first time I've ever heard a pastor preach on Esther.* The last time I read Esther I was probably in elementary or middle school and I don't remember the lessons I got from the story at that time. Probably just that Esther was pretty and brave, everything worked out perfectly, and that the bad guy got what he deserved. Maybe I even wanted to be like Esther - pretty, a crowned queen, and brave. But there's so much more.

// The Book of Esther has no mention of God or any religious reference. He's noticeably absent from the story - and at points, it looks like the author goes out of his way to avoid religious reference or mention of God. Yet at the same time, there are many ordinary incidents that had to happen for the story to turn out the way it did so that the Jews would be saved and that God's promise to Abraham in Genesis 12 would be fulfilled. For example, in chapter 1 Xerxes got drunk. If he hadn't gotten drunk, he wouldn't have asked his queen Vashti to come and parade herself in front of his friends and associates. If Vashti hadn't refused to come out, then Esther never would've had the opportunity to be queen. If Esther wasn't beautiful, she never would've been chosen to be part of Xerxes' harem.

// In Persian Culture, men were valued for their wealth and power, while women were valued for their physical beauty. Our pastor noted that conservatives, liberals, Jews, Christians, secular and religious readers all think that Esther was a sellout based on her actions in the first two chapters. She was completely compliant and did everything the men (her cousin, the man in charge of the harem, and the King) wanted her to do. Vashti, the previous queen, had refused to come and parade herself before a horde of drunken men and was stripped of her crown as a result. But Esther hid the fact that she was a Jew and broke dietary restrictions and slept with a man she wasn't married to. Esther was guilty.

While it's easy to point at Esther and look at how she did all these things that were morally wrong, at the same time, you can't help but see that she was a woman in a male dominated society - what could she have done? If she wasn't completely obedient and compliant, she wouldn't have found so much approval with the King and the man in charge of the harem, and she could have been doomed to the life of a unfavored concubine which was essentially the same as permanent widowhood with no freedom.

She was constrained by that culture and her world, the same way that we're influenced by modern society - to be successful, wealthy, powerful, and beautiful. The example the pastor gave was the way that everyone chooses a mate. We first discount potential boyfriends or girlfriends by looks, and then we go from there and hope for character. Esther was loved by Xerxes because she was beautiful. The world values us and approves of us only if we fit the criteria of success and beauty that it has set out. But God just loves us - not because of anything, and he gave up everything so that we could know Him and live in His love.

// Even though Esther violated all of God's laws and commands at the beginning of the book, as the book continues, we find that God works with her and grows her and turns her into something great. So there's a message of hope and grace in this - that God continually works and gives his grace and doesn't give up on us, no matter how much we've screwed up.

So what can we take from all of this?
+ God's silence is not absence.
+ God's hiddenness is not abandonment.
+ God's love for us is not predicated by our achievements or our worth as the world sees it.
+ God doesn't give up on us no matter how much we've messed up or how screwed up we are.

I can't say that this sermon really hit me in any specific way, but the reminder of God's omnipotence, mysteriousness, and love and the overall message of hope is just what I needed. It's really easy for me to miss God's hand in my life and to wonder whether I've made wrong decisions, but I was encouraged by the reminder that He has a plan, even if I can't understand or see it. It's also easy for me to get caught up in the world's value system, especially considering where I work, and it was a good reminder for me to step back and bask in the assurance of God's love and my identity in him rather than anything else.

* He only preached up through Esther 2 this week, so there may be more to come...

free lightbulbs

If you haven't switched to CFLs yet but you want to, here's your chance. Home Depot is giving out 1,000,000 of them on Sunday, April 22!

[Witty Vonnegut quote]

Someone please tell me why this was necessary?
http://www.crooksandliars.com/2007/04/16/kurt-vonneguts-lifefox-news-style/

This appeared on air the day after his death.
It's pretty bad throughout, but the kicker is at the end.

I want to say more, but the clip speaks for itself.

Soul-searching

If life begins at conception (i.e., ensoulment occurs at conception), when does said event occur for twins?

that's brilliant!

Isaac likes to tease me because he thinks I don't like anything if there are accents involved. Like I've never been able to watch "Snatch" without falling asleep because I can't understand it. Literally. And I never wanted to watch the British version of "The Office" because I couldn't decipher what they were saying.

But I do like some British exports. Namely their music. This past Saturday, we saw Bloc Party play at the United Palace Theater all the way up at 175th Street. They were awesome - they had a ton of energy AND they sound awesome live. I love their music, but I couldn't understand a word that frontman Kele Okereke said between songs. I wasn't alone though - I could hear the people around us asking each other what he was saying too.

The opening act was also very good. We missed most of Sebastian Grainger so I can't comment on that, but we caught all of Albert Hammond Jr.'s opening set. He's a lead guitarist for the Strokes, but he's touring with Bloc Party for a solo album that he produced. I just picked up his cd last week, and it's Strokes-esque, but slightly happier. I like!

In general, I've been listening to a lot more music since I've moved out to New York. Well, actually, ever since I left school. Pittsburgh was like a desert for new music. Every single station out there played Hoobastank's "The Reason" as every 4th song for at least 6 months. Whenever it played, it felt like someone was hammering an ice pick into my brain. Because of that and the general quality of radio play in this area, I no longer listen to radio. Weird - "The Reason" is the reason I don't listen to the radio anymore. Instead, I just focus on finding music for myself.

I've found that it's nice to have some music to energize me as I walk the long blocks to the subway or to distract me from being in such close quarters on the crowded train. It definitely helped the one time the back of my head was being used as a newspaper rest while my forehead was in someone's armpit and the bottom half of my face was practically in someone's huge furry hood. I just focused on the soothing beats of "Close Your Eyes" by the Chemical Brothers and it felt like I was alone on the train. Well, not quite, but the music helped.

By the way, I eventually did watch the British Office (good job, closed caption!) and it was pretty good. I can see why it was received so well by critics, but I have to say that I actually enjoy the American version of The Office better. Perhaps because I can relate better since our working environments are different within our countries. By the way, if you're home tonight, check out NBC at 8pm tonight - there's a supersized episode of the Office, followed by my new fave 30 Rock at 8:44pm.

bears galore!

Animals are so cute in the baby stage..except for insects. Insects are disgusting at all stages in their lifecycles. Back to the cute though...

i saw this one on 30 Rock (focus on the baby).


Knut!

He's so cute, right? It's crazy that some animal rights people wanted him killed. You'd think that animal rights campaigners would be all about keeping animals alive, especially a threatened species like the polar bears.


..and this is not related to bears, or baby animals, but it's also cute...it's repetitive for most of the clip, but one of the otters does something really cute near the end.