pregnancy randomness

I'm just about at that point in pregnancy now where I should be feeling the baby move at least once every day. Its movements are pretty strong at times - like to the point where I get uncomfortable and/or I can actually see little jumps in my belly or ripples across my stomach as it squirms around inside. My bellybutton is starting to come out, and it's been feeling a bit tender, so I've just started putting a bandaid over it. I'm hoping that it won't pop out all the way, but I don't think I'll be that lucky since I still have a good amount of time to go.

One of the more difficult and immediate adjustments to being pregnant was the sudden profusion of food restrictions...here's a short list:
- 3 servings of caffeine per day (chocolate counts towards this!) from the 2nd trimester on. Before that, no caffeine!
- no sushi
- no soft cheeses (brie, goat cheese,etc)
- no alcohol
- no deli meats (unless heated to smoking)
- limited types of cooked fish (no shark, no sea bass, tuna but not often, etc)
- food has to be cooked through (well done steak! :/)

During the first several months, I was really particular about everything I ate because the rate of miscarriage is higher early on, and even though early miscarriages aren't usually linked to food, everything just seemed a lot more precarious. Now that I've been able to feel the baby move more regularly, I'm less strict about what I eat. For example, I had Coke for the first time a few weeks ago. It was so smooth, like liquid gold. I had a sip of Isaac's sangria one night and a tiny bite of his oh so smooth salmon sashimi another night. And sometimes, we get free sandwiches for lunch at work, so I'll have deli meat. When we do get lunch at work, I don't like to stand around and open all the sandwiches to check their contents, so I kinda eyeball them and hope for the best. The other day, I accidentally had a ham and brie sandwich (sooo good, by the way!).

But the night and the day following the brie sandwich, the baby was unnervingly still. No flutters, no kicks, nothing. I started getting pretty worried and I remembered the bandaid on my bellybutton, and I thought that it might be causing the baby to suffocate, which makes no sense of course.

In the beginning, I had a hard time seeing how I would ever get to the point where I would love this baby. I knew I would eventually, but nausea and dizziness doesn't really inspire any affection. But as it's developed more and we've been able to see and feel its movements, I've found myself growing more attached to the baby. And its lack of movement that day solidified the growing realization that I think I'm learning to love this unborn and unmet member of our family.

It really does feel like a miracle to think that a few months ago it didn't exist, and that it's grown so much and I had nothing to do with it. I think pregnancy is helpful for the whole transition from a carefree adult to a parent with responsibilities. There are months for you to absorb the shock and to accept the coming changes, and then some time for you to just enjoy and learn to appreciate what is happening, and then some time after that to focus on the practical things that need to be done in preparation for the baby's arrival. That's not to say that we're ready or anything - I'm definitely glad to have nine months!